I hope, through all of this, that I have learned

Some lessons to apply to later life,

So I may save fond friends from future strife,

And loathe myself a little less. I turned

My eyes upon myself, at point of knife,

From others' viewpoint: hard. It changed…

My left leg's been through surgery--ah! Twice.

I'm walking nearly normally by now,

But that was taxing. Very. I'll allow,

My limp's a minor thing, one grain of rice

Within a heaping bowl.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Oh, I would splice

Tho…

My life, in recent months, has been o'erfull.

There's too much going on, inside my heart

And head, to parse, to handle. As for art,

I've had no spoons to work. I'm gath'ring wool,

Bereft of words, o'ercome. I've been a fool

Both in and out of love. How ca…

But then I hear a tiny sound

That stirs my mem’ry, brings me ‘round

To former joys. I used to know.

“Dear Anna? hi, I’ve missed you so!”

And I once more do hear that voice

I’ve loved so long, and I rejoice,

I’d never thought to hear them more,

Outside …

I hope that I can find a proper manner

To make new friends and treat them as they’d choose,

So they feel safe and cheerful ‘neath my banner

And not be overwhelmed, creeped out, bemused.

-

I know there’s something wrong, but no one tells

Just where I erred…

the sound is doomed

the air is doomed

my lungs full up with spores that plumed

the friends i loved

the loves I friend

depart for good my life doth end

when they are gone

I'm nothing left

no confidence i'm done, bereft

and in my absence

pain remains

I pain…

I'm lonely, I'm lonely

I'm drifting away

If only, if only

Friends weren't far away.

I've wandered much longer

Than I thought I would

Forever I ponder

If my choice was good

I want so to reach out

And touch someone's hand

Before thoughts can leach out

The…