Your moving on, choosing someone who was not me, hurt like a white hot knife to my gut.

At first I denied the pain, startled that I meant so little to you. I tried to ask you to show or tell me that I meant more.

You said that I meant just enough.

Th…

You know what? Don't speak to me. I'll only manipulate you and poison you with my words. My hurts fester and are infectious. They spew from me in fits of rage.

I can't let you in. What's lurking inside of me is the ugliest monster you've ever seen. It's …

"Before I say anything," she whispers, "how blunt can I be without you hating me?"

I don't think anything could surprise me any more than I already had been, so I say, "Say what you need to say. It's okay."

She turns to me, and, after a brief pause, tel…

I love you

But I want you to hate me

For loving you

.

I hate me

And I want you to love me

For loving you

.

I hate you

For not loving me

When I love you

.

I love me

For not hating you

When I love you

.

I love you

Even if you love another

And don't love me…