Familyzoned

Ken tapped the bottom of his beer bottle against the table. It made the satisfyingly hard knock that only happens when thick glass meets sturdy wood. Stefano leaned back and rested his arm along the top of the red leather booth.

"What's up?"

Ken mumbled, "I just got friendzoned. I know that feminists don't believe that's a thing though."

"Yeah their inability to recognize unrequited feelings is pretty pathetic but it comes with the territory of being in power right? They don't want to have to feel bad every time they don't want to have a relationship with a dude. This way they can dismiss your feelings without consequence. And don't let them convince you it's only about sex. It's about intimacy. But friendzone is level one. Have you ever been familyzoned?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Familyzone is the friendzone on HGH. This one girl started calling me her big brother two days into texting and now if I pursue her, it's got the incest stigma."

Ken blinked. "That's . . . diabolical."

"I know, right?"