Anger Cycle

It makes me angry to think that I can never have you and angry that I'm acting like a child. I'm angry that my dreams are crushed and angry that life goes on and you can go on without me.

That's what hurt the most; knowing that I can be forgotten in the blink of an eye. Yet, why should I care what happens after I'm gone from your life?

Because I'm still here, thinking about you and your life without me. This isn't death. This is being left behind like all the toys in the attic.

I'm so sad. I'm angry about being sad because it's for no reason. Once you call me everything goes back to that happy place where you fix it all with a story.

This cycle has been going on for years. Crushed spirit, sadness, anger, depression, then it's blown away in one moment of happiness. The high continues until something crushes it. Over and over, ups and downs, learning more of how to keep you, but you keep pushing me away.

It's a ying yang of balance, my desire, your crushing it. All for my good.