Breakout

There is a journal where I laboriously wrote what she did and how it made me feel. Torn in two, because I admired her and wanted to continue to learn from her, yet she held me in her control and made me think and do things contrary to my soul.

I wrote to discover if there was a line that she had crossed. I wrote to analyze my feelings and learn to shut off the worry about pleasing her and listen only to the desire to be free of her control.

We began to tussle. My way and her way were different and when my way was right, I began to assert it. She tried to manipulate me back under her thumb. Her anger seeped from her pores, but she never called me names, never undermined my authority, just made blatant suggestions and arguments with 'proof' that felt irrefutable.

Until one day I didn't fall for it. I found a loophole and I took it. Her real visage swam before my eyes as the veil of her weaving fell away. She was ugly on the inside.

My breakout was beautiful. My soul began to sing again.