Why Should I Care? I Have My Own Universe

I have what I need. I have what I need.

The mantra was not soothing me. If I had what I needed, then why did I feel so empty and alone?

Just avoid the situation, I counseled myself.

But the truth is, I don't want to. I want to be liked, loved, appreciated, as much as all the others. I felt like the white crayon in the box. Same, but different. Liked, but not played with.

Shut up. You can play. Just stop feeling bad for yourself and have some confidence.

Why was I looking for the attention of one when I already had the attention of another? What was so great about this one that so entranced me to fantasies of being at the center of their universe?

Why should I care? I have my own universe. It has collided with another's and mixed in a bit, but I could pull away.

There was plenty of space.

Truth is, I didn't want to. I wanted my universe to be their universe. I wanted all that I already had to blend seamlessly with theirs. I was greedy, selfish, and a fool. It wasn't going to be that way. Ever.