Is this Fractured Dance a Mirage (Poem)

Do we orbit or dance? An orbit

is a dance

of gravity, energy, mass.

Are you afraid of collisions?

honestly, I'm not sure what you could fear.

I'm afraid--afraid of missing.

Afraid that the twisting shadows,

strangely posing are deceptions

without basis or substance

Yet I feel something akin to hope's

cresting warmth.

It could be the illusion of a half-opened eye

blurred and blurring

colors into shapes and shapes into possibilities.

I spin silently, a collection of desperate moments

encased in adipose tissue oh so carefully

collected for thirty seven years, ten months,

and three days.

And I wish I could celebrate our differences

And I wish I could force an invitation off this inactive and betraying tongue

that has always held me back, stubborn

silent, and when not silent, clumsy and awkward,

And I wish I could wrap these arms

around your shoulders.

I feel Like O've been crushed,

pressed hard by slim, strong fingertips

until finally! I flatten into a cubist's dream

Broken up