A Smudge on the Mind

I could see better before; I recall that night clearly.

.

I was clean, intact, as night fell. I think you were, too.

It was easier to make things out then, the contrast was stark

And I did not notice the nurse turn sick and pale at my innocence

.

A stone fell from above as we sat in companionship, smiling, talking softly

Between us it fell, and the stone floor cracked like a floe in spring's first thaw

The splinters, the damage, the dangership

.

From between every fissure and spit the gray came mulling out

The pristine blank of my perceptions were flecked with it

Then the drops landed o'er my eyes

When you tried to help

When you tried to clear

When you tried you smudged it

And now I'm a smear

.

And your visage came sharper, the faults and freckles fell into focus

As a child falls down the well while trying to catch a ball

Long way, long way down

I fell

.

And so now the page is unblank

Speckled and dappled and pied the clutter accumulate in my head

A soft squelch of damp leaves in the wood

and

I don't see you