Ripples

In the past, it had always been an acknowledgement-in-the-abstract that hope and despair are two sides of the same coin. But it is far more vivid, visceral and horrifying to have the truth of the thing.

I looked back, previously, and regretted the present. It is a view I still hold. This is not a future I wanted, not a life I desired. I do acknowledge (of course), in ritual that offers no comfort, that it could be worse.

But there are no happy endings to be seen on this path, which has yet been crushingly deterministic. I can see my role, so clearly written I feel like I could lift the pages of the play and read my lines as they come. And though out of a perennial sense of duty, I labour to make the best of what I have - what pitiful amounts do I play my cards for.

I looked at the future once and it was bright. But now, having arrived, I find that darkness has followed me here, too.

Very well. Sit with me a while, darkness, and we can toast of broken dreams.