SkyFire
I saw the sunset blazing like fire. It was beautiful, with its warm reds, oranges, pinks, purples and blues.
Splashes of yellow here and there dancing like flames between burning logs as the clouds drifted by
The wind was biting, but somehow there was warmth in this view
Staring at the Skyfire, I daydreamed of the fur trimmed cloaks and woolen hoods that took my family.
Then suddenly, I was aware of the beginnings of frostbite that taunted my wounded limbs
As the wind died down, I continued my journey through the forest.
Heading to the cave that I had been calling home for some time.
It wasn't the place of my younger life, full of siblings rough housing and playing, but it was to be my home now.
One day, I would find a mate to share those views with. One day, I would find my family
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Comments (3 so far!)
Average reader rating 4.00/5
ethelthefrog
Gorgeous descriptions. Your offbeat language accentuates the tone and gives it that other-worldly feel.
Two tiny points of grammar: in first line, use "its" rather than "it's", as the latter is a contraction of "it is"; the former is possessive. Describing time at the cave should be "some time", rather than "sometime", as the latter refers to a moment rather than a duration.
Now, I'm just off to enjoy that sunset again.
- #455 Posted 10 years ago
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0
- 4 out of 5
A Gypsy Heart
Thank You so much for the feedback. I will. Prefect immediately- damned autocorrect ;)
- #456 Posted 10 years ago
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0
- Published 10 years ago.
- Story viewed 22 times and rated 1 times.
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Jae
Well described. Took a moment to realize the character was not human.