Baby Steps

I don’t want to be a hypocrite

Who gives theories as mentors

In place of the action I crave

But I’m scared

Of changing my routine

Doing some thing different right now

In this moment

-

I make good plans

Dream of perfect happy futures

Decide all the steps I’ll take to reach

That wonderful fastasy

But right now

In this moment

I’m stalling

Huffing and puffing a thousand excuses

Which make perfect sense

And keep me from reaching

My dreams

-

And yet

When I remember

Where

How

Who I was

365 days ago

I know I’m getting closer

-

My struggles have changed direction

But they continue

I can’t stop struggling

Stop hurting, making mistakes

Because the minute, the second I stop

I die

-

But now I can choose

Every once in a while

To learn from those struggles

To remember what to avoid

What didn’t work and why

I can choose to live, to love, to struggle

I can choose to change

….tomorrow